Podcasts & Realizations

Preface: Since working I have gained a TINY bit of weight. Which saddens me because really I want to lose another 5-10lbs. I haven’t been super strict on my diet but I AM FINALLY settling into a workout schedule!

Since I have been working my ‘free’ time has become very limited. I had hoped to read JM’s Master Your Metabolism & Unlimited (which I did start and can’t wait to get back to). I also had several other books on nutrition and diet that I wanted to get to and I have missed reading my weekly articles from various websites. Anyway needless to say I am not keeping up on my ‘studies’ as much as I would like. So the other day I decided to start listening to more of JM’s podcasts. And I have learned a lot--some about nutrition, some about exercise, but mostly about myself. Here is what I have learned from the last couple of podcasts I’ve listened to. (WARNING: Some of this may appear to be glaringly obvious (meaning you know it and have read it before) but let me tell you until you really internalize it you won’t ‘get it’.)

#1 DO IT FOR YOURSELF: Jillian took a call from a listener who had lost something like 100lbs. She claimed to have hit a plateau and couldn’t push through. Jillian dove into why she had gained the weight in the first place. Well this gal’s father was a PE teacher and all of her brothers and sisters were runners. As the conversation went on the girl basically said ‘I’m losing the weight to prove to them or to make them proud’. Jillian stopped her and said something to the effect of you have to do it for yourself!

#2 BEING THIN DOESN’T EQUAL CONFIDENCE OR SELF WORTH

Again Jillian took a call from a woman who was 4’11 and used to weight 165lbs. She now weighs 117lbs. The woman was calling for two reasons 1-she looks in the mirror and doesn’t know how to respond to her reflection and 2-she is also feeling awkward about the way others are treating her. The first sounds to me like losing the weight was a band aid to help with self confidence issues. The second is VERY easy for me (and I am sure others who have lost weight) to relate to. Others were ALWAYS watching her eat and criticizing her choices. They were also messing with her emotions—telling her husband that they thought she’d leave him now that she was thin, etc.

Both of these things hit me like a TON OF BRICKS! The whole time I have been losing weight I have wanted to be healthier but in the forefront of my mind it was to be an example to my siblings, to make sure my daughter has a mother around for as long as possible, and to try to keep up with my ULTRA SEXY husband. I was doing it for myself but the other reasons were my main push. I specifically remember working out and keeping Kaci nearby so I could look at her and push myself through the workout. I am not saying that being an example is a bad reason to get healthy but what happens when you have the knowledge , lose most of the weight and people see you as an example… then what? Do you stop losing and just sit stagnant? Do you gain it all back? What motivation do you have to lose those ‘vanity pounds’? The answer my friends is NONE! Unless YOU are the reason you are getting healthy then you can forget it! My initial reasons got me to make a change in my life and they are still reasons that I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle but I have realized now that the rest of my journey has to be for ME.

The other thing that hit me was still looking in the mirror and seeing the ‘chubby girl’ or to take it one step further as say to eat like the ‘chubby girl’. I still have these issues that I have to work out. At first when I was losing the weight it was easy to see it. I SAW the pounds come off and new muscles reveal themselves --it becomes VERY exciting. But once I got to a certain point (ie a healthy weight) all I see is what is left. Why do I still have flab here? Why isn’t the saddle bag gone yet? Etc. etc. etc. It is very difficult to get a grip on that. Then there is the eating like a ‘chubby girl’ part. I grew up in a family of social eaters. We ate when we were happy and we ate when we were sad. We rewarded ourselves with food. Eating was funny too—‘look at how short and little I am and how much I can eat’. IN FACT I still to this day will make comments when I eat like ‘I’m a good eater’ or I will tell Kaci ‘You eat like your momma’. Why do I still think like this?

Anyway I know this is a LONG post and if you’ve stuck with me to the end I thank you. I just had several realizations this week due to fabulous podcasts. Now I am not saying I agree with everything JM says for example today I completely disagreed with what she was saying to the point that I had to fast forward through a particular segment.

THE TAKE AWAY:

I am going to look for the good in the mirror and congratulate myself for my accomplishments more.

I am going work on my attitude toward food and be careful about the way I talk about food.

I am recommitted to my calorie count.

I am no longer eating after 7PM.

I am going to work on drinking less Diet Coke.

In the future I will keep better track of which podcast I've listened to. If you want you can download JM's Podcasts HERE.

Again sorry for the long post! Have a wonderful day!